there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
