I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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