also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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