Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There r osticjed everywhere
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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