Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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