You smell like stripper and shame
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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