then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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