We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
