If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
