yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
