On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
