I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
