wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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