Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
