all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
