I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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