Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
