and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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