I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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