Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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