She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
