When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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