There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
