I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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