she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
