I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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