Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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