i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
