booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
