Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
