I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i came on her dog
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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