I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
