I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize