hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
