So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
