dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
