i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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