yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
