The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
