Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
and you fell through a lawn chair
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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