hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
