YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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