the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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