Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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