drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
