clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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