i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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