I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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