R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
how drunk are you?
Several
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
