So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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