I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
