why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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