He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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