Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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