I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
