sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
