Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
