Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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