Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is wine microwaveable?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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