I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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