At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
