my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My penis needs a shock collar
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
