I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
