the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
