I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
